I am in awe of new mom's who seem to slip seamlessly back into their pre-baby lives. Evenings out with friends, restful nights of sleep, and perfectly coiffed hairstyles before they walk out the door (stylish diaper bag and baby with no snot on his face in tow). If you are one of those moms, hats off to you. If you are not one of those moms, I understand. Truly, I do. I am not one of those "together" moms.
Is it okay to admit that these first six months have been challenging? The truths of new motherhood are easy to read about but much more difficult (and rewarding) to live. First, feeding a baby is a full time job; it is also the job I love most about being a mother. Second, dirty diapers wait for no man (or woman). They will make themselves known at awkward times and places. Thirdly, new motherhood can feel lonely (and scary) even though you are almost never alone. Isn't that the strangest dichotomy?
And truly, I have an amazing, supportive, diaper changing, bottle washing, rock the baby at 2am husband who has made sure I was never alone in this. I can't imagine how much more difficult it would have been without him by my side.
There is also the self-doubt. Did he have enough dirty diapers? Did I feed him two hours ago or three hours ago? Is it too chilly outside to dress him in short sleeves? Will he be scarred for life if I put him in his crib while I go take a shower? (My fellow mamas--put the baby down in a safe place and go take that shower! Do not feel guilty about that!) I'm fairly certain many mothers have these same feelings of falling short. It's easy to let our minds go to that place where we are not as good as the mom down the street or sitting a few rows in front of us at church. But here is the truth that we all need to hear: we are good moms. We can do this. We ARE doing it.
This all brings me around to what is happening here on this little space I call my blog. Is this a food blog? A mom-blog? A blog about...anything in particular? I'm not sure. I am a person who cooks and eats food. I'm a mom. I like to garden, sew, needlepoint, read, and chat. I like to explore and I love to just be at home. I love my husband and my kids and my dogs. This blog may be about all of those things. I considered changing the name of it but as far as blogs go, I've been around a long time! Three years! Let's just push ahead here, together, mmkay?
Today I do have some links to share with you. All of these links are from other mom's opening up about their thoughts on new motherhood (the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful). I hope if you are a mom, or thinking about being one, or know a mom who might need some support, you might find these writers relate-able.
Megan at Sorta Crunchy gets real about (unsteady new) life with twins
Molly at Orangette talks post-partum depression (Thank you for your openness, Molly!)
Motherhood Support is a wonderful parenting blog written by some Cincinnati mamas!
Kath at KathEats shared tea and life thoughts in this post (I particularly related to her work-life balance. I also feel like every time Alex naps or is occupied I should be doing something like clean the house! answer email! fold the laundry! etc etc etc).
A beautiful (seriously, so so so beautiful) poem about breastfeeding from Nicole at And Baby Cakes Three (I love this blog!)
New Mommy Media's podcasts sustained me during my maternity leave! I found myself counting down the days until new episodes were posted. I highly recommend them for any stage of parenthood from pre-conception to raising toddlers.
Do you have any blogs, articles, podcasts, or experiences of your own to share? I'd love to hear them. Thank you for coming back here, even after all this time. I'll see you again, soon.
Oh my goodness - LOVE your post Jen! Just when I think I've got this Motherhood thing figured out..."BAM!" there's baby puke, little boy tantrums and plenty of tears that remind me to stay humble! Motherhood is filled with moments of clarity and hiding in the closet for just 5 minutes of PEACE so we can tell ourselves we're really NOT losing our minds! Ha! At some point along the way within the 6-12 month range with my first baby I surrendered to the fact that I will no longer fit into my size 4 jeans the same way and that pregnancy brain turns into "mom brain" which really means = no brain. I still keep a makeup bag in my car along with a jewelry stash in my glove box so I can quickly put some mascara and maybe some earrings on in the parking lot of where I'm going! Sometimes it's a miracle I can even get out the door on time!
ReplyDeleteIt is so refreshing to hear you being so candid about Motherhood! I will look forward to more posts from you! Thank you for mentioning our blog - you are such a sweetheart! :)
Thank you for your sweet comment, Kimberly. We all have so much to learn from one another and also so much encouragement and comfort to offer. I'm glad you could relate--makes me realize we are all in this together!
ReplyDeleteHi Jen! Sorry, I had been trying to check this post out awhile back, but the the link wasn't working! You are SO NOT alone and EVERY mom is just getting by.... I think we all look at everyone else and think they have it way more together than me, but they are probably thinking the same thing about you! We are our own worst critics! Keep doing what you're doing and thanks for sharing our blog with your readers. It means a lot! :) Jennie, motherhoodsupport.com
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
ReplyDelete