Last night I accompanied Tim to a work dinner at the Boathouse. When we arrived home, the sun had already set and a warm rain had just begun to fall. As I stepped out of the car, I opened my hands to feel the drops and a memory came back to me like lightening.
The summer before Tim and I met was a bit of a low point for me. I wasn't entirely happy with my employment and I was lonely. I was still recovering from a broken heart that had lingered for over two years without healing; back then I had begun to wonder if I would ever feel happy again. One evening, I think it was a Thursday night, I came home from a work function after dark and stood next to my car in a warm August rain. It was like I was in some sort of trance, soon completely drenched, and I couldn't will any of my limbs to move. It was one of those strange moments where I felt outside myself, as if watching someone else contemplate how to fix all cracks in her life. I must have stood there for a half an hour while the rain fell until a car turned down the street and I snapped back to the present.
I met Tim two months later.
We married a little over two years after that.
And now, three and a half years later, we are expecting a baby soon.
I share all of this with you because every time the baby moves around, stretching his or her limbs, I can't believe how wonderful life can be. Even I can see all of the differences between the woman I am now and the girl I was back then. And as I approach my 30th birthday next week, I can whole-heartedly say good-bye to my 20s and all of the struggles and opportunities they presented me. Last August, I committed (publicly, on this blog!) to living out my 29th year like a Victory Lap, and I think I have spent this time proving to myself that my 20s were a battle well fought.
What about you? Are you fighting for your life? I hope you win. You deserve it.